I Let Life Rob Me Of God’s Word

I’m sitting in my comfortable chair, sipping some warm chai tea, and reading Acts 7 on this cool winter morning. This morning I’m fascinated by the way God orchestrates the small details of my life for the good of my soul. One of my closest friends sent me a text of his Bible reading thoughts on Genesis 12, and it read, “what faith it would take to just up and leave to go where God calls you.” He was writing about Abraham leaving the comfort and safety of his home to follow a God he had never known or worshiped. What a powerful testimony of faith! Stephen preached about this same faith in his famous sermon in Acts 7.

The connection between my friend’s Bible reading and my personal bible reading reminds me of a powerful truth from the first psalm. The blessed man delights in the law of the Lord and on it he meditates day and night (Psa. 1:2). Through the everyday habit of daily Bible reading, God brings me genuine delight. The year has just begun, but God has been meeting me here and bringing me joy.

I’ve recently experienced a blend of lament and rejoicing, and I hope to help someone out there who is struggling to read and enjoy the Bible consistently. You have hope, and God is holding out the promise of delight to all who seek Him and meditate on His Word. The God who spoke the Bible works in the hearts of believers, drawing us to His Word and giving us unexplainable joy.

Lament: I Let Life Steal From Me

Adrian Rogers once said, “If Satan can’t make you bad, he’ll make you busy”. In C.S. Lewis’s Screwtape Letters, one demon wrote of humans: “Whatever their bodies do affects their souls. It is funny how mortals always picture us as putting things into their minds: in reality, our best work is done by keeping things out”. For over a year, God’s Word was mostly kept out of my daily habits and routines, and my soul paid dearly for it. 

I started a new job in early 2021, and work was pretty busy. I often found myself gravitating toward health and wellness podcasts rather than the biblical episodes I used to download. Instead of reading Christian books during the cracks and breaks throughout the day, I read books on sleep and diet. Too often, I gave myself extra time for sleep, jumped straight into a coffee shop meeting or exercise, and then jumped straight into work. Rather than pursuing God and His presence to strengthen my soul throughout the day, I gave myself to working, googling things, scrolling social media, reading weather blogs, and chasing anything else that would distract my soul. C.S. Lewis’s words proved true for me. I was caring far more for my body than my soul, and God’s Word ended up being pushed to the side.

The scariest part about my year is that I hardly noticed that I was starving my soul. My body was languishing. I gained 17 pounds, got COVID, found out I had undiagnosed sleep apnea and insomnia, dealt with intense anxiety, and developed a skin abscess. I truly felt the weight of physical struggles and ailments in 2022, and these struggles took up a lot of my focus because they made my life difficult. But what about my spiritual difficulties? 
 
Last year, I had several spiritual highs which gave me a false sense of spiritual depth. I attended the final T4G conference, served faithfully as a pastoral resident, and took steps toward church planting. Those times were extremely fruitful and good for my soul. God was gracious in them all. He gave me the diligence to preach, teach, and lead in ways that are impossible without his help. 

Despite these blessed times, I lacked the devotional rhythms and ongoing communion with God necessary for the valleys that came between the peaks. I spent far too little time with God. I often neglected time for prayer, Bible reading, writing, fellowship, worship, and discipleship to do less important things. 

Rejoicing: God Gave Back What I Gave Up

God didn’t leave me last year, but He allowed me to starve my soul on a diet of junk food and quick-fix supplements for much of the year. By the grace of God, I finished out the year with a God-given desire to care for my soul in 2023 (Phil. 2:12-13). He got my attention and reeled me back in with a different perspective. Despite my being distant and distracted, Christ was always here. He didn’t let my soul shrivel up like chaff and throw me into the fire. Rather, my Good Shepherd struck my back with His gracious rod of correction and led me back to green pastures and still waters—the Living Water to be precise (Ps. 23:2). He knows more than any earthly parent how to give good gifts to those who ask Him, and I was desperate for His help (Mat. 7:11). 

I spent a short season praying for delight without pursuing it. God graciously sparked my hunger for communion with Him in ways that I couldn’t have imagined at the time. As my soul hungered for the Word, God drew me to the path of delighting in Him. Here’s what God did:

1. God used the Redeeming Productivity Academy. Near the end of 2022, Reagan—the founder of Redeeming Productivity Academy—and several users in the academy posted articles and tips for starting Bible reading plans in the new year. These posts and articles helped me get focused on growth in 2023. 

2. God used year-end reflections. I reflected on 2022 and lamented the state of my soul. After reflecting on my complete failure in setting and keeping the 38 goals and interventions I set last year, I decided to forgo my annual goal-setting and opt for emphasizing daily habits that would help me live the life I need to live in 2023.
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3. God used some of my closest friends. At the end of 2022, three of my closest friends committed to using Bible reading plans—one convinced me to read the M’Cheyne with him again this year. Another close friend stopped using drugs a year ago and began reading several pages of his Bible every day. His life is a testimony of devotion to God. Another friend, who is busy with a full undergraduate load, read the whole M’Cheyne plan last year. These men spur me on daily to read and seek God’s face in His Word. 

A Journey: I Haven’t Arrived

What does all of this have to do with reading Acts 7? I wouldn’t have been reading that chapter without God helping me cultivate the spiritual habit of daily Bible reading. 

He drew me back into the daily spiritual disciplines I had so quickly forgotten. For some, the word discipline screams legalism, danger, and red flags. For others, discipline feels like a spiritual straitjacket that robs people of their true freedom. I view the spiritual disciplines as the gutter guards at the bowling alley. I have a destination, and without discipline, I end up in the gutter. In the words of Don Whitney, “discipline without direction leads to drudgery, but discipline with direction leads to delight.” I thrive when I have discipline and direction because I can find delight in the right place—God Himself.

I want to reiterate that I haven’t arrived. I’m writing this on January 10th. I have 355 days to keep striving in Christ’s strength to commune with him.  I also have 355 days to lose focus and either follow the disciplines for fleshly reasons or lose sight of them altogether. My hope and prayer, however, are that God continues to teach me how to delight myself in Him. Only then will I truly have the desires of my heart (Ps. 37:4).

What about you? Are you delighting in the Lord in this season of life? What is holding you back? How is God at work to draw you back to Himself?

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Photo by EKATERINA BOLOVTSOVA: https://www.pexels.com/photo/focused-young-ethnic-male-messaging-on-smartphone-at-home-4049424/